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[William I (Farnaby)] I'm William the Conqueror My enemies stood no chance They call me the first English king Although I come from France 1066, the Domesday book I gave to history So fat on death my body burst But enough about me To help remember all your kings I've come up with this song A simple rhyme and ditty For you all to sing along Oh... William Bit short, innit? We need more kings! Who came next? [Henry I (Baynton)] William second, cheeks were red Killed out 'unting, so it's said I took over, Henry one That's my next eldest son Then came Stephen, it's true, check it! [Henry II (Howick)] I, Henry two, killed Thomas Beckett Richard Lionheart? That's right! Always spoiling for a fight Oh King John, what a disaster Rule restrained by Magna Carta [All so far] William, William, Henry, Stephen Henry, Richard, John, oi! [Henry II] Time for my mate, King Henry eight To take up this song [Henry VIII (Willbond)] Henry three built the abbey Ed one hated Scots A red hot poker killed Ed two That must have hurt him lots Edward third was a chivalry nerd Began the hundred years war [Henry V (Rickard)] Then Richard two was king aged ten Then Henry, yes, one more King Henry four, plots galore Not least from Henry five Moi? I Killed ten score at Agincourt Then Henry six arrived (Waaa!) [Henry VIII] Edward four, Edward five Richard the third, he's bad 'Cause he fought wars with Henry seventh First Tudor and my dad So Henry eight, I was great Six wives, two were beheaded Edward the sixth came next But he died young and so my dreaded Daughter Mary ruled, so scary Then along came... [Elizabeth I (Howe-Douglas)] Me! I'm Liz the first, I had no kids So Tudors RIP [All so far] William, William, Henry, Stephen Henry, Richard, John, oi! Henry, Ed, Ed, Ed, Rich two Then three more Henrys join our song Edward, Edward, Rich the third Henry, Henry, Ed again Mary one, good Queen Bess [Elizabeth I] That's me, time for more men James six of Scotland next As English James the first he led Then Stuarts ruled, so Charles the first The one who lost his head [Charles II (Baynton)] No monarchy until came me Charles two, I liked to party King Jimmy two was scary, woo! Then Mary was a smarty She ruled with Bill, their shoes were filled By sourpuss Queen Anne Gloria And so from then, you were ruled by men [Victoria (Howe-Douglas)] 'Til along came me - Victoria! [All so far] William, William, Henry, Stephen Henry, Richard, John, oi! Henry, Ed, Ed, Ed, Rich two Then three more Henrys join our song Edward, Edward, Rich the third Henry, Henry, Ed again Mary one, good Queen Bess Jimmy, Charles and Charles and then Jim, Will, Mary, Anna Gloria Still to come, it's Queen Victoria [George IV (Howick)] And so began the Hanover gang George one and George two [Victoria] Grim! Then George the third was quite absurd [George IV] 'Til I replaced old him [Victoria] King George the fourth and known henceforth As angry, fat and cross [George IV] Hang on! [Victoria] It's true you beat Napoleon But were mostly a dead loss [George IV] Bang on! [Victoria] Old William four was a sailor [George IV] Ahoy! [VIctoria] It's nearly the end of the story-a As onto the scene comes the best loved queen Hail to Queen Victoria! [All] William, William, Henry, Stephen Henry, Richard, John, oi! Henry, Ed, Ed, Ed, Rich two Then three more Henrys join our song Edward, Edward, Rich the third Henry, Henry, Ed again Mary one, good Queen Bess Jimmy, Charles and Charles and then Jim, Will, Mary, Anna Gloria George, George, George, George Will, Victoria Victoria, Victoria, Victoria [Victoria] I ruled for sixty four years, you know Ed seven, George five Then Ed, George sixth Liz two then reigned and how And so our famous monarch song Is brought right up to now [All] Oh... William, William, Henry, Stephen Henry, Richard, John, oi! Henry, Ed, Ed, Ed, Rich two Then three more Henrys join our song Edward, Edward, Rich the third Henry, Henry, Ed again Mary one, good Queen Bess Jimmy, Charles and Charles and then Jim, Will, Mary, Anna Gloria George, George, George, George Will, Victoria Edward, George, Edward, George six And Queen Liz two completes the mix That's all the English kings and queens Since William first that there have been